Holding my breath until I can see you when you're all grown up, and hold you and tell you how proud I am of things you did on earth, and how much I longed for you to know how much I loved you every day of my life.

Every morning I open my eyes and see my babies everywhere.
I feel them.
I can hear them.
All this emotion comes from the shadow box that is hung on my wall across the room. It has pictures of my sweet babies piled in it.
Just last night, a friend told me I just had to listen to this song that he really loved and he thought I would love it too.
It turns out I had heard the song many times before.
When I was holding my little babies who are my everything.
The song is called, "The Prayer of the Children"
It was special to both of us for different reasons, so we listened to it, and of course I let go a little. or alot.
I have been thinking about my babies a lot lately, and even though I have the incredible opportunity of going back, I feel like my heart is still just gone. I am so incredibly excited to go back and see them, but the heartbreak, its more than just seeing, holding and kissing them. It's more of this frantic feeling that they will never get adopted, or be raised in a good family who loves them as much as I do. Maybe they don't ever get adopted, I hope they can go to school, have hopes and dreams, find someone who brings out the BEST in them, marry them, and have beautiful kids, and enjoy life, blessing every person with the sweet spirit each of them will always have. I worry about these things everyday. Who is going to give B the opportunity to play the piano? (She has the BEST piano hands i've ever seen) Who is going to do the things a mother would, the things I would do? I know this makes no sense to 99% of the three people reading this, but what i'm trying to say is that my worrying for my babies will NEVER leave. I will never stop dreaming, and wishing for them the best in life. I'll never stop worrying where they are, if they are hurt, or safe. I will always think and worry and pray for them each individually. I know every other OSSO girl will relate to me when I say that my prayers have turned into half hour or hour sessions. haha. Every child is remembered. Every worry and concern is included, and I have the faith that they are being watched over each and every second.
They truely are the angel's of this world. They are everything anyone should ever long to be. They are amazing kids. I wish every person in this world could have the opportunity to hold them. All it takes is looking into their eyes, and you feel it. You feel the incredible spirit they bring to this earth. This earth is truely blessed by each and every child who comes into it.
Whatever circumstance they come from, it doesn't matter, they are all so special.
They feed my desire to find all the children in this world, and help them in ANY way possible. Everyday I know I what I have to do to prove my worthiness to be here on this earth with a two loving parents, two sisters, and a brother who I couldn't do without, grandparents, aunts and uncles, a beautiful home, a car, an education, and my friends who are everything to me. I know that if I don't make myself a better person with each day, then I am making a total waste of everything that has been given to me and not to the more deserving babies all over the world.
So this is my goal. Considering I have no money to go to Africa right now, I will work hard, learn all I can in school, and with each day do things that will make my heart grow three times bigger than it already is. Starting with ourselves is the only way we can save the world, right? :)
Like Michael Jackson says it, "I'm starting with the man (woman) in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways."
Lets try and find the best whitney there is in this heart of mine.

Ready...
Set....
.... GO.