There are few things in this life that I think about EVERYDAY.
That I am reminded of EVERYDAY.
That I miss immensly EVERYDAY.
That make my heart jump into my throat and make my tears fall EVERYDAY.
These are some of the most cherished things of mine. Things that really mean more to me than life.
These are the things that consume Whitney Sevy's mind on a minutely/hourly/daily basis.
This is my "ShadowPost"
The first thing is a poem that one of my very best friends, katy bateman, shared with me when we were in Ecuador. A girl she knew wrote it when she was in Ecuador and it defines everything I feel to this day about my experience. When katelyn first told us about it, she read it to us. We bawled. To this day, I can NOT read this out loud. At the sound of the very first word I break down and I can't finish it. When I read it silently, I am always alone, and I am always drowning in tears.
Call me a bawl baby, because I am exactly that.
If only I had known when I
got on that plane
what awaited me,
I would have left sooner,
I would have stayed longer,
but I was oblivious
I arrived unsure of my priorities,
of my ambitions,
mostly unsure of who I was
but there I was,
ready to do what I said I'd do
I pushed open the door,
and it hit me
the smell, the laughter, the crying
the love, the sadness, the need
my eyes met theirs
and in that moment
I found a love pure and unconditional
inside those innocent dark brown eyes
I found myself
so the day comes when I look into
those beautiful eyes one last time
but now I see so much more
I see that through humility
the service I have given and received
has shown the love of Christ
which love is eternal
and has power enough to guide
even me, to help feed
the hungry souls of his
lost and lonely children
By: The most incredible girl. Too bad I don't know her name. When I find out, I'll let y'all know. :)
The angels of my heart...
Belen: My littlest angel. She is my princess and everything to me. She, at 8 months old, completely altered my life. Flipped it upside down. She taught me how to love someone with my entire being. The second I saw her big brown eyes, and thebig alligator tears streaming down her face, I was in love. My heart grew 9 times too big when I was holding her. We had so many times together that I can remember her teaching me something. The moment I met her, she began to uncover the realness in me.She saw past all the walls, all the barriers, and she gave me something to live for. It sounds so strange when you haven't held one of these kids, ANY one of them. It sounds as if I am being dramatic, over exaggerating the reality of it, but that is the best part... what I just told you IS the reality of it all. These kids are the most incredible human beings on this earth. They deserve more than anyone I have ever met.
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| Princesa Belenita |
Each one of them have given me something special to think about and to live for. They are so much better than I will ever be. I am so sad that I can't live my life right next to them for my entire life, but because of the influence they had on me, I will always have each one of them in my heart and in my mind. They are apart of me forever, and I am so grateful for that. Without them I would be nothing, and that is the truth. They give me eyes to see what I have been given and what I need to give.
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| Princesa Sarita |
Sarita: Sara was the first baby I saw when I walked into the orphanage. She, with her droopy chunky cheeks and big cheesy smile, was the first little angel to run up to me with her arms wide open and wrapped her arms around me. Instantly, she became my little princess, and daughter. She had no idea who I was, but she wasn't scared. There were countless times that she fell asleep in my arms, cried in my arms and watched Barney in my arms. She was my little snuggle buddy and she taught me how to be careless. She showed me that nothing matters but the people around you who love you, and you love them. She wasn't a fighter, just a snuggler. (and a eater. haha.) She has grown up to be the sweetest little princess. I love my little miss piggy. She is a constant reminder of the love I have in my life.
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May the angels protect them...
This song is so special to me. It's everything I want to tell my babies, it's everything I want for them.
Everytime this song comes on, my eyes well up with tears, and every smell around me makes me feel like I am right there holding, laughing and playing with them, and then when it ends I feel a longing that I have never felt with anything else in my life. It is such a nostalgic feeling to hear this song. It can literally take me back to exact moments I had with those 26 pairs of sweet, big, brown eyes.
Lets just say, no matter how cliche it may be, .... it gets me everytime.
May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
May you always have plenty
The glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone
May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone
Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
I have to be honest
As much as I want it
I'm not gonna promise that the cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone
May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
And when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
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Sor Alba...
Ths woman is everything I want to be. There are so many things about her that I could tell you that would blow you away. The two things I found in her that have made an eternal impact on my life are these:
Sacrifice: Sor Alba is the epitome of sacrifice. She gave up all worldly pleasures to give her life to service. She gave up her family, her life, a future with a husband and kids of her own, etc. She goes where she is called to. She loves what she has given her life to, and I could not be more hopeful that one day I can be as incredible as she is. She has shown me the true meaning of giving EVERYTHING up, leaving EVERYTHING behind, and just focusing on what God wants her to do.
Being Christlike and having unconditional love: When I think of Sor Alba, I think of Christ. How he would have lived his life, how he would have spoken, how he would have comforted a child, how he would have smiled and the light that would shine through his eyes. You know the scripture that says "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."(1Timothy 4:12) She is the GREATEST example I have ever encountered, in absolutely EVERYTHING she does, says and is.
She is everything we should all be striving to be, she is everything I hope to be one day.
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Isaac Craig Allred...
It is hard for me to even explain the kind of influence Isaac has had on my life. He has truly changed my life in only the best way possible. I never thought I could fall in love. I really never believed it. Although I was too young to even tell when I was in high school, I was convinced that I would live my whole life and never find someone who was "my other half", "my best friend", "my everything"... well that changed. I am now in love with Isaac Craig Allred. He IS my very best friend. I could never trust anyone more with my secrets, sadness, joys, and my heart. He is the most honest, good, kind, and integrity filled person I know.
He is always encouraging me to do things that I want to do. He is the most unselfish person I know, and only wants good things for other people. Whenever we would talk about our dreams, passions, hopes... he would always spend most of the time telling me to do the things I wanted to. He pushed me out the door to find my wings. He has never said "no" to me. He treats me like an absolute princess, I can never forget it. Even when he is gone he pushes me and encourages me to do the things he knows I want out of life. He sets me free and gives me hope. He puts a big smile on my face, and makes me laugh until I cry. He finds joy in everything he does, and he has given me the strength to do the same. He loves his family, and I am so grateful for his example of how to love my family more than life itself.
He is everything I want to be, he is my hero.
Although I have no idea what the future holds for either of us, I don't have to be scared. Isaac has given me the greatest memories I could ever ask for. No matter what comes in our future, I will look back and smile about the times we have had together. I think about him everyday. He is one of the greatest things in my life.
He has my heart, and will always have a part of it.
I am so blessed to be me, to know the people I know, and to have experience what I have experienced. I am the luckiest girl in this world. I have been given the greatest thing in life, love. Honest and true love. My family, my babies, Sor Alba, and isaac are all apart of that love.
I am a truly blessed girl. I am on my knees in gratitude for the things I have been given and for the people I know.
To be continued...
