We are a family

There were four goals that I had for today:
A. Pick up my room, finish up laundry, etc...
B. Do my stinkin pile of homework that has been staring me in the eye for the past two days
C. Do a page or two of my scrapbook for Ecuador that has also been staring me in the eye, only for the past four months.
D. And finally, to read a little. For myself. Because I never get to read what I want to read.

But then I got to thinking,
and when I get thinking... I get thinking. haha. I don't believe that I can multitask when I think.
So here I am, sitting on my bed, letting the world know whats on my mind.
Well, first off, EVERYTHING is on my mind.
I'll only let the world know one, maybe two, of the things that are currently occupying my mind.
First,
My family is the best.
I don't deserve them, but if the man upstairs absolutely insists that I be with them for eternity, I will take them.
I haven't been the best daughter throughout the years. I have been spoiled, and have taken everything for granted. A couple of months ago, my ungratefulness was lost. Thanks to the babies who showed me how important my family really is to me and my entire happiness, heart, and exsistence. They showed me how much I really have, and even if I were homeless with no material things, I would still have my family and that is all I would ever need to survive.
My dad is THE hardest worker you will ever meet. The kindest, sweetest, funniest, most honest, gentle, and caring dad/person in the world. One day I hope to find someone like him.With his ambition, honesty, and kindness. Sadly, there probably isn't a man out there like him, but it's worth the search, right?
My mom is the greatest woman i've ever met. The things she does just amazes me. She is always going going going. Usually doing things for other people. She will drop anything to be with you. Even if what she is doing is really important to her. She won't say anything, she just puts it down and does what you need her to do. She has the biggest heart and I don't think i've ever heard her complain about one thing. She is the greatest mom in the world and I couldn't be luckier to have her.
Terra is the sweetest person. She just cares about people instantly, once you meet terra you are one of her close friends. She brought the most perfect little boy into this world, and is getting ready to have another one. She is one of my heros and I couldn't ask for a better example. We are ten years apart, so when I was younger we weren't really able to get close because she was in college by the time I was old enough to be friends with her. But since she has been married, and lives close by, we have gotten the time we need to become close. She can make anyone and everyone laugh so hard! I love her. She is beautiful and absolutely loves life. I'm so grateful to have her happy countenence around me all the time.
Sharly is the kind of person who makes you feel like you are her best friend. No matter who you are, she will love you. She loves her friends more than anything, and loves her family even more than that. Whenever I need something, she is right there. She is beautiful and is also one of my heros. She does what she wants and she has become so accomplished and has so many memories because she doesn't let opportunity pass her by.
It's lucky we are all at an age where we can really be best friends with each other. I never thought my sisters would end up being my very best friends, but they are, and I couldn't ask for better best friends.
Jeffrey is the best little buddy i've ever had. I can talk to him about anything and he doesn't say anything. haha. he just listens. No one knows about me and little jeff's talks, well, until now. Seriously though, Jeff's wife is the luckiest girl in the world. He is the BEST listener in the world, and has the biggest heart. He loves and is always concerned about everyone around him. He always includes everyone, and always teaches me so much about how to treat people. Another thing is that he gives the best hugs in the world. No one will ever beat his hugs. I love the little guy. He is honestly one of my best friends. Always will be.

I love you family. Never forget it. I love you more than anything in this world.
You got me through my elementary school years, when I looked like a "pirate" and wasn't the most graceful ballerina. haha. You got me through my awkward years, by making home an absolute haven to come home to. You got me through my high school years when, goodness, who knows what I was then. I was all over the place. Thank you for being a constant for me throughout my life. Right now, I am so grateful to have you here and with me. I have never needed any of you as much as I do right now, and I'm so grateful for everything each one of you does for me. I truly can never go back to taking any one of you for granted. You are all my heros, and I look up to you all so much.

So there you go.
My family is the best.
They are everything I need in life.
I am so grateful I have the priviledge of having them by my side everyday.
They save my life everyday I am alive.

I am aware that not many people have what I have.
And I could not be any more grateful that I was blessed enough to have my very own family.

Holding my breath until I can see you when you're all grown up, and hold you and tell you how proud I am of things you did on earth, and how much I longed for you to know how much I loved you every day of my life.

Every morning I open my eyes and see my babies everywhere.
I feel them.
I can hear them.
All this emotion comes from the shadow box that is hung on my wall across the room. It has pictures of my sweet babies piled in it.
Just last night, a friend told me I just had to listen to this song that he really loved and he thought I would love it too.
It turns out I had heard the song many times before.
When I was holding my little babies who are my everything.
The song is called, "The Prayer of the Children"
It was special to both of us for different reasons, so we listened to it, and of course I let go a little. or alot.
I have been thinking about my babies a lot lately, and even though I have the incredible opportunity of going back, I feel like my heart is still just gone. I am so incredibly excited to go back and see them, but the heartbreak, its more than just seeing, holding and kissing them. It's more of this frantic feeling that they will never get adopted, or be raised in a good family who loves them as much as I do. Maybe they don't ever get adopted, I hope they can go to school, have hopes and dreams, find someone who brings out the BEST in them, marry them, and have beautiful kids, and enjoy life, blessing every person with the sweet spirit each of them will always have. I worry about these things everyday. Who is going to give B the opportunity to play the piano? (She has the BEST piano hands i've ever seen) Who is going to do the things a mother would, the things I would do? I know this makes no sense to 99% of the three people reading this, but what i'm trying to say is that my worrying for my babies will NEVER leave. I will never stop dreaming, and wishing for them the best in life. I'll never stop worrying where they are, if they are hurt, or safe. I will always think and worry and pray for them each individually. I know every other OSSO girl will relate to me when I say that my prayers have turned into half hour or hour sessions. haha. Every child is remembered. Every worry and concern is included, and I have the faith that they are being watched over each and every second.
They truely are the angel's of this world. They are everything anyone should ever long to be. They are amazing kids. I wish every person in this world could have the opportunity to hold them. All it takes is looking into their eyes, and you feel it. You feel the incredible spirit they bring to this earth. This earth is truely blessed by each and every child who comes into it.
Whatever circumstance they come from, it doesn't matter, they are all so special.
They feed my desire to find all the children in this world, and help them in ANY way possible. Everyday I know I what I have to do to prove my worthiness to be here on this earth with a two loving parents, two sisters, and a brother who I couldn't do without, grandparents, aunts and uncles, a beautiful home, a car, an education, and my friends who are everything to me. I know that if I don't make myself a better person with each day, then I am making a total waste of everything that has been given to me and not to the more deserving babies all over the world.
So this is my goal. Considering I have no money to go to Africa right now, I will work hard, learn all I can in school, and with each day do things that will make my heart grow three times bigger than it already is. Starting with ourselves is the only way we can save the world, right? :)
Like Michael Jackson says it, "I'm starting with the man (woman) in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways."
Lets try and find the best whitney there is in this heart of mine.

Ready...
Set....
.... GO.

Miracles

What a life we live, hey?
We are all seriously so blessed with the little mercies we are given each day.
This week there have been a few instances when all I could do was get on my knees and express my gratitude for how things worked out.
Then, dear President Monson gave his talk about being more filled with gratitude. To show people you love them, and thank them for the blessings they have brought into your life. To be grateful for our health and our loved ones around us, and far from us.
To look at our lifes and give serious thought to how much we have been given in this life.
This talk made me think of one thing that has been very prevelent in my life and the lifes of close friends this past week....

MIRACLES.

Miracles happen everyday.
They give us another chance to refocus our lifes, and to understand how fragile this life is and how fragile every soul is.
 It gives us a chance to show others the gratitude they deserve.
They give us the chance to see the hand of the Lord in our life.

I'm so grateful for the miracles in my life. I know that I have too many to count.
I'll always be indebted to Him for the miracles He has worked in my life.

Thank goodness for mercy and miracles.
They give us all a second chance.