As said in the previous post, I am studying the art of differentiating in the classroom. I call it "the art of..." because I am learning that it is truly an art and a skill that has to be mastered in order to be an excellent teacher. The word "fair" came up in our class discussion a few weeks ago, and my professor said something that made it click for me. She said something along the lines of:
"being fair has nothing to do with everyone getting the same, but everything to do with each individual getting what they need."
For me, when she said this, differentiation fell into place.
Teachers have a lot of variety in their classrooms, and students won't succeed if they are all getting the same instruction, assessments, and attention. However, I am seeing that even the smallest modification or accommodation, makes the biggest difference in the individual's education. Most students have a need that needs to be addressed in the classroom setting in order for subjects to be mastered.
I graduate this upcoming April, and I often find myself daydreaming about my first day of school as a real classroom teacher, saying to my class:
"In this classroom, we all have different needs, and in order for every individual in here to succeed, those needs of every student in here need to be addressed and taken care of. This is what we call being fair to every person. Because every person deserves to succeed."
(of course, more eloquently said.)
I can imagine my students nodded their heads in excitement, and cheering for the word we just defined.
Obviously I can't wait to be a teacher!
Monday, September 30, 2013
This man is an AMAZING teacher.
His name is Greg Breinberg, and he is an elementary school
teacher in Staten Island.
For the next several weeks I will be posting about things I learn in my differentiation class at UVU. I wanted to start my posts with this video clip because, to me, this man is the definition of differentiation.
Take a look and see, I promise you'll be inspired.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Lucky
Lucky.
At certain times in your life you look at where you are, who you are surrounded by, and feel that hard-pressing whisper in your heart that says, "I'm the luckiest girl in the world."
Today I felt that.
So let me tell you why.
My mom has always been my hero. She puts off this eloquence that I wish I could have every single day. In her way with people, in her smile, in her laugh, in her words; she calms you. She believes in people like I wish I could. She never disqualifies someone because of their actions. The benefit is always given, never any doubt. Especially in her children.
Obviously I've never had any experience in not being my mother's daughter, so this is what it's like to be me:
When I was a little girl I never went a single day without my hair being in curls or without an extravagant outfit on. I was doted on and loved and played with by my mom. I remember, one day, I was playing (attempting) barbies in the front room all by myself. All I remember is the warmness that I felt when my mom walked into the room with a smile on her face and sat down and played with me. I was lucky that day. Not many little girls were given a mom like mine.
Then I grew a little and went to school. I swear I went home from school with a bloody nose, knee or elbow, at least, once a week. I was a wreck of a little girl, but I always had my mom to help me laugh things away. I think that's why my mom has such a peace about her; She laughs things away. I want that.
The awkward years came and I was no exception to their terror. I had chubby cheeks, braces, and I had no clue who I was or was going to be. I never told anyone I was scared or lonely or confused about everything at that point, but I made it through because I knew that the smile on my mom's face when I got home from school meant that she loved me; I knew I'd always make it through anything because of that smile.
I was right.
High school came. The real Whitney was buried deep and tight. I became somewhat of a stuck-up teenager. I blew my family off and talked back, if at all, to my parents. I was lost but somehow torn between who I wanted to be at the time and who I was. I was lucky to have my mom. She supported me through her words and love all the way 'till the end. She never raised her voice, but only gave her whole heart and love to me. Even when I didn't deserve it. I made it through because of her.
If you'd ask me, that's a lucky little girl.
My mom gives everything up just to bring happiness to someone else. I grew up doing the twelve days of Christmas, watching her give life to other people's dreams, and I continue to watch her seek out opportunities to bring a smile to someone's face or give hope to someone who is maybe hanging by the last thread. She gives more than I have ever seen any one person give. She gives willingly, with an open heart and sincere love and desire to help.To grow up seeing that constant example is lucky to say the least.
I admire my mom more than anything because she puts her dreams to action. My mom's dreams have always been to make other's dreams come true. She worked long long days on her feet so me and my sister's could go to dance lessons, tumbling lessons, singing lessons, piano lessons and violin lessons. She saw us through, even when we thought we didn't want to pursue or build upon our talents. She gave us confidence and something to live for, and to love. She and my dad saved and sent all of us to college, sacrificing an exciting life for themselves, because they wanted a higher way of living for us.
She set the example of pursuing dreams by going back to school herself. She stayed up late and woke up early and never stopped until her work was perfect. She gave it her all, like she does with everything. I couldn't think of a greater day than when she got her grades and she got her first A's. She smiled; The way she smiles at us when we do great things.
She taught me something important that day: Be proud of what you do. We don't give ourselves enough credit for the good we do in this world. My mom most certainly has never given herself enough credit for all of the inspiration, love and just plain good she gives to the world.
"Most of our life is a series of images.They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens and we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever."
-One Tree Hill
So today, I was lucky.
Lucky to be sitting in the drivers seat, listening to my mom calm my fears about the future, and look over only to see an angel. My angel. Someone beautiful, kind, and elegant. Someone to confide in, gain wisdom from, receive love from and love in return. Someone to see myself in, to admire and look up to, to find joy in. Someone to care for me, tell me when I'm wrong, and to love me when I'm wrong. Someone to understand me. Someone to find a best friend in.
"I believe there are angels among us. Sent down to us from somewhere up above. They come to you and me; To teach us how to live. To show us how to give. To guide us with the light of love."
I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
At certain times in your life you look at where you are, who you are surrounded by, and feel that hard-pressing whisper in your heart that says, "I'm the luckiest girl in the world."
Today I felt that.
So let me tell you why.
My mom has always been my hero. She puts off this eloquence that I wish I could have every single day. In her way with people, in her smile, in her laugh, in her words; she calms you. She believes in people like I wish I could. She never disqualifies someone because of their actions. The benefit is always given, never any doubt. Especially in her children.
Obviously I've never had any experience in not being my mother's daughter, so this is what it's like to be me:
When I was a little girl I never went a single day without my hair being in curls or without an extravagant outfit on. I was doted on and loved and played with by my mom. I remember, one day, I was playing (attempting) barbies in the front room all by myself. All I remember is the warmness that I felt when my mom walked into the room with a smile on her face and sat down and played with me. I was lucky that day. Not many little girls were given a mom like mine.
Then I grew a little and went to school. I swear I went home from school with a bloody nose, knee or elbow, at least, once a week. I was a wreck of a little girl, but I always had my mom to help me laugh things away. I think that's why my mom has such a peace about her; She laughs things away. I want that.
The awkward years came and I was no exception to their terror. I had chubby cheeks, braces, and I had no clue who I was or was going to be. I never told anyone I was scared or lonely or confused about everything at that point, but I made it through because I knew that the smile on my mom's face when I got home from school meant that she loved me; I knew I'd always make it through anything because of that smile.
I was right.
High school came. The real Whitney was buried deep and tight. I became somewhat of a stuck-up teenager. I blew my family off and talked back, if at all, to my parents. I was lost but somehow torn between who I wanted to be at the time and who I was. I was lucky to have my mom. She supported me through her words and love all the way 'till the end. She never raised her voice, but only gave her whole heart and love to me. Even when I didn't deserve it. I made it through because of her.
If you'd ask me, that's a lucky little girl.
My mom gives everything up just to bring happiness to someone else. I grew up doing the twelve days of Christmas, watching her give life to other people's dreams, and I continue to watch her seek out opportunities to bring a smile to someone's face or give hope to someone who is maybe hanging by the last thread. She gives more than I have ever seen any one person give. She gives willingly, with an open heart and sincere love and desire to help.To grow up seeing that constant example is lucky to say the least.
I admire my mom more than anything because she puts her dreams to action. My mom's dreams have always been to make other's dreams come true. She worked long long days on her feet so me and my sister's could go to dance lessons, tumbling lessons, singing lessons, piano lessons and violin lessons. She saw us through, even when we thought we didn't want to pursue or build upon our talents. She gave us confidence and something to live for, and to love. She and my dad saved and sent all of us to college, sacrificing an exciting life for themselves, because they wanted a higher way of living for us.
She set the example of pursuing dreams by going back to school herself. She stayed up late and woke up early and never stopped until her work was perfect. She gave it her all, like she does with everything. I couldn't think of a greater day than when she got her grades and she got her first A's. She smiled; The way she smiles at us when we do great things.
She taught me something important that day: Be proud of what you do. We don't give ourselves enough credit for the good we do in this world. My mom most certainly has never given herself enough credit for all of the inspiration, love and just plain good she gives to the world.
"Most of our life is a series of images.They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens and we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on forever."
-One Tree Hill
So today, I was lucky.
Lucky to be sitting in the drivers seat, listening to my mom calm my fears about the future, and look over only to see an angel. My angel. Someone beautiful, kind, and elegant. Someone to confide in, gain wisdom from, receive love from and love in return. Someone to see myself in, to admire and look up to, to find joy in. Someone to care for me, tell me when I'm wrong, and to love me when I'm wrong. Someone to understand me. Someone to find a best friend in.
That moment will live on forever.
"I believe there are angels among us. Sent down to us from somewhere up above. They come to you and me; To teach us how to live. To show us how to give. To guide us with the light of love."
I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Magic
"You know, I do believe in magic. I was born and raised in a magic time, in a magic town, among magicians. Most everybody else didn't realize we lived in that web of magic, connected by the silver filaments of chance and circumstance. But I knew all along. See, this is my opinion, we all start out knowing magic. We were born with whirlwinds, forcefires, and comets inside us. We were born able to sing to birds, and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow and told to be responsible, told to act our age. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness in youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they allowed to wither in themselves. After you go so far away from it, you can't really get it back. You can have seconds of it. Just seconds of knowing and remembering.
When people get weepy at movies, it is because in that dark theater, the golden pool of magic is touched. Just briefly. Then they come out into the hard sun of logic and reason again and it dries up. and they are left feeling a little heart sad and not knowing why.When a song stirs a memory, when dust floating in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a train passing on a track at night in the far off distance and you wonder where it might be going, You step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instance you have stepped in to the magic realm. Thats what I believe."
-One Tree Hill
When people get weepy at movies, it is because in that dark theater, the golden pool of magic is touched. Just briefly. Then they come out into the hard sun of logic and reason again and it dries up. and they are left feeling a little heart sad and not knowing why.When a song stirs a memory, when dust floating in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a train passing on a track at night in the far off distance and you wonder where it might be going, You step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instance you have stepped in to the magic realm. Thats what I believe."
-One Tree Hill
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Burned and Pillaged
We all want things to stay the same.
We want the perfect cookie cutter "originality" that every American strives for.
We want the perfect family, the perfect dishes, the perfect boyfriend/husband, the perfect house, and the list never ends. When we figure out that things are going to be different for us than they were for our siblings, even our parents, we tend to give up.
We give up because life gets hard.
There comes a time in your life where you have to choose between something you have become so comfortable with that it has practically become you, and something that may be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but after all the sweat and tears you put in... the end result is a better you; a happier you.
Sometimes changes bring absolute destruction to our lifes. Sometimes everything in a persons life has to be completely wiped out for a person to really and truly change. For some it may be divorce, disease, death in the family or close friends, or even natural disasters. No one knows what it is like living in the lowest of lows if they've never experienced it. They also don't know what it is like living in the highest of highs if they've never lived in the lowest of lows. We ALL have to hit rock bottom at some point. Our own rock bottom. Some may have to sink lower than others to really change. We all have our own bottom floor in our own hell.
My favorite quote comes from the movie Eat Pray Love. She is sitting in a BEAUTIFUL ruined building from many centuries ago and she says this:
"We settle for living in misery because we are afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins.
Then I looked around in this place, at the chaos it has endured. The way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and then found a way to build itself back up again and I was reassured maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is and the only real trap is getting attatched to any of it."
"Ruin is a gift.
Ruin is the road to transformation.
Always be prepared for endless waves of transformation."
Julia Roberts was a GENIUS in this movie. She showed me that for change to happen, something has to crumble. When change happens, someone or something is going to get hurt or maybe even left behind.
You know what though? That is perfectly fine! Change is always for the best. Eventually, everyone finds there way to where they need to be.
We are all ruined buildings with LOTS of baggage. We have been hurt, damaged, burned, and broken. Somehow though, we are all still alive. We have endured our wounds, and we have come out as better people. Every single one of us.
Never be afraid to follow your heart.
Never be afraid of the buildings falling down around you because
when you get to where you are going, everything will build itself back up again.
We want the perfect cookie cutter "originality" that every American strives for.
We want the perfect family, the perfect dishes, the perfect boyfriend/husband, the perfect house, and the list never ends. When we figure out that things are going to be different for us than they were for our siblings, even our parents, we tend to give up.
We give up because life gets hard.
There comes a time in your life where you have to choose between something you have become so comfortable with that it has practically become you, and something that may be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but after all the sweat and tears you put in... the end result is a better you; a happier you.
Sometimes changes bring absolute destruction to our lifes. Sometimes everything in a persons life has to be completely wiped out for a person to really and truly change. For some it may be divorce, disease, death in the family or close friends, or even natural disasters. No one knows what it is like living in the lowest of lows if they've never experienced it. They also don't know what it is like living in the highest of highs if they've never lived in the lowest of lows. We ALL have to hit rock bottom at some point. Our own rock bottom. Some may have to sink lower than others to really change. We all have our own bottom floor in our own hell.
My favorite quote comes from the movie Eat Pray Love. She is sitting in a BEAUTIFUL ruined building from many centuries ago and she says this:
"We settle for living in misery because we are afraid of change, of things crumbling to ruins.
Then I looked around in this place, at the chaos it has endured. The way it has been adapted, burned, pillaged and then found a way to build itself back up again and I was reassured maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, it's just the world that is and the only real trap is getting attatched to any of it."
"Ruin is a gift.
Ruin is the road to transformation.
Always be prepared for endless waves of transformation."
Julia Roberts was a GENIUS in this movie. She showed me that for change to happen, something has to crumble. When change happens, someone or something is going to get hurt or maybe even left behind.
You know what though? That is perfectly fine! Change is always for the best. Eventually, everyone finds there way to where they need to be.
We are all ruined buildings with LOTS of baggage. We have been hurt, damaged, burned, and broken. Somehow though, we are all still alive. We have endured our wounds, and we have come out as better people. Every single one of us.
Never be afraid to follow your heart.
Never be afraid of the buildings falling down around you because
when you get to where you are going, everything will build itself back up again.
 |
| ruined is more beautiful than perfect. |
Friday, March 4, 2011
My very first "ShadowPost"
There are few things in this life that I think about EVERYDAY.
That I am reminded of EVERYDAY.
That I miss immensly EVERYDAY.
That make my heart jump into my throat and make my tears fall EVERYDAY.
These are some of the most cherished things of mine. Things that really mean more to me than life.
These are the things that consume Whitney Sevy's mind on a minutely/hourly/daily basis.
This is my "ShadowPost"
The first thing is a poem that one of my very best friends, katy bateman, shared with me when we were in Ecuador. A girl she knew wrote it when she was in Ecuador and it defines everything I feel to this day about my experience. When katelyn first told us about it, she read it to us. We bawled. To this day, I can NOT read this out loud. At the sound of the very first word I break down and I can't finish it. When I read it silently, I am always alone, and I am always drowning in tears.
Call me a bawl baby, because I am exactly that.
If only I had known when I
got on that plane
what awaited me,
I would have left sooner,
I would have stayed longer,
but I was oblivious
I arrived unsure of my priorities,
of my ambitions,
mostly unsure of who I was
but there I was,
ready to do what I said I'd do
I pushed open the door,
and it hit methe smell, the laughter, the crying
the love, the sadness, the need
my eyes met theirs
and in that moment
I found a love pure and unconditional
inside those innocent dark brown eyes
I found myself
so the day comes when I look into
those beautiful eyes one last time
but now I see so much more
I see that through humility
the service I have given and received
has shown the love of Christ
which love is eternal
and has power enough to guide
even me, to help feed
the hungry souls of his
lost and lonely children
By: The most incredible girl. Too bad I don't know her name. When I find out, I'll let y'all know. :)
The angels of my heart...
Belen: My littlest angel. She is my princess and everything to me. She, at 8 months old, completely altered my life. Flipped it upside down. She taught me how to love someone with my entire being. The second I saw her big brown eyes, and thebig alligator tears streaming down her face, I was in love. My heart grew 9 times too big when I was holding her. We had so many times together that I can remember her teaching me something. The moment I met her, she began to uncover the realness in me.She saw past all the walls, all the barriers, and she gave me something to live for. It sounds so strange when you haven't held one of these kids, ANY one of them. It sounds as if I am being dramatic, over exaggerating the reality of it, but that is the best part... what I just told you IS the reality of it all. These kids are the most incredible human beings on this earth. They deserve more than anyone I have ever met.  |
| Princesa Belenita |
Each one of them have given me something special to think about and to live for. They are so much better than I will ever be. I am so sad that I can't live my life right next to them for my entire life, but because of the influence they had on me, I will always have each one of them in my heart and in my mind. They are apart of me forever, and I am so grateful for that. Without them I would be nothing, and that is the truth. They give me eyes to see what I have been given and what I need to give.
 |
| Princesa Sarita |
Sarita: Sara was the first baby I saw when I walked into the orphanage. She, with her droopy chunky cheeks and big cheesy smile, was the first little angel to run up to me with her arms wide open and wrapped her arms around me. Instantly, she became my little princess, and daughter. She had no idea who I was, but she wasn't scared. There were countless times that she fell asleep in my arms, cried in my arms and watched Barney in my arms. She was my little snuggle buddy and she taught me how to be careless. She showed me that nothing matters but the people around you who love you, and you love them. She wasn't a fighter, just a snuggler. (and a eater. haha.) She has grown up to be the sweetest little princess. I love my little miss piggy. She is a constant reminder of the love I have in my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May the angels protect them...
This song is so special to me. It's everything I want to tell my babies, it's everything I want for them.
Everytime this song comes on, my eyes well up with tears, and every smell around me makes me feel like I am right there holding, laughing and playing with them, and then when it ends I feel a longing that I have never felt with anything else in my life. It is such a nostalgic feeling to hear this song. It can literally take me back to exact moments I had with those 26 pairs of sweet, big, brown eyes.
Lets just say, no matter how cliche it may be, .... it gets me everytime.
May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
May you always have plenty
The glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone
May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win but stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone
Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
I have to be honest
As much as I want it
I'm not gonna promise that the cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone
May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when its time to go home
And when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sor Alba...
Ths woman is everything I want to be. There are so many things about her that I could tell you that would blow you away. The two things I found in her that have made an eternal impact on my life are these:
Sacrifice: Sor Alba is the epitome of sacrifice. She gave up all worldly pleasures to give her life to service. She gave up her family, her life, a future with a husband and kids of her own, etc. She goes where she is called to. She loves what she has given her life to, and I could not be more hopeful that one day I can be as incredible as she is. She has shown me the true meaning of giving EVERYTHING up, leaving EVERYTHING behind, and just focusing on what God wants her to do.
Being Christlike and having unconditional love: When I think of Sor Alba, I think of Christ. How he would have lived his life, how he would have spoken, how he would have comforted a child, how he would have smiled and the light that would shine through his eyes. You know the scripture that says "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."(1Timothy 4:12) She is the GREATEST example I have ever encountered, in absolutely EVERYTHING she does, says and is.
She is everything we should all be striving to be, she is everything I hope to be one day.
Isaac Craig Allred...
It is hard for me to even explain the kind of influence Isaac has had on my life. He has truly changed my life in only the best way possible. I never thought I could fall in love. I really never believed it. Although I was too young to even tell when I was in high school, I was convinced that I would live my whole life and never find someone who was "my other half", "my best friend", "my everything"... well that changed. I am now in love with Isaac Craig Allred. He IS my very best friend. I could never trust anyone more with my secrets, sadness, joys, and my heart. He is the most honest, good, kind, and integrity filled person I know.
He is always encouraging me to do things that I want to do. He is the most unselfish person I know, and only wants good things for other people. Whenever we would talk about our dreams, passions, hopes... he would always spend most of the time telling me to do the things I wanted to. He pushed me out the door to find my wings. He has never said "no" to me. He treats me like an absolute princess, I can never forget it. Even when he is gone he pushes me and encourages me to do the things he knows I want out of life. He sets me free and gives me hope. He puts a big smile on my face, and makes me laugh until I cry. He finds joy in everything he does, and he has given me the strength to do the same. He loves his family, and I am so grateful for his example of how to love my family more than life itself.
He is everything I want to be, he is my hero.
Although I have no idea what the future holds for either of us, I don't have to be scared. Isaac has given me the greatest memories I could ever ask for. No matter what comes in our future, I will look back and smile about the times we have had together. I think about him everyday. He is one of the greatest things in my life.
He has my heart, and will always have a part of it.
I am so blessed to be me, to know the people I know, and to have experience what I have experienced. I am the luckiest girl in this world. I have been given the greatest thing in life, love. Honest and true love. My family, my babies, Sor Alba, and isaac are all apart of that love.
I am a truly blessed girl. I am on my knees in gratitude for the things I have been given and for the people I know.
To be continued...
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Fire Filled Highways
You know in transformers when Shia labouf is running down the crowded street, but there is a transformer chasing him, setting everything on fire included buses and cars, and those buses and cars are rolling down the street after, over and toward shia? There is one thing you all should know. I hate crossing, turning onto, and turning off of highway 89. To me, it is the scariest part of my day and reminds me exactly of an action movie like transformers where everything is on fire and there is no way I will cross and make it out alive. There are too many turns for cars to hide behind, not to mention the 60 miles per hour or more every car is traveling at coming around those corners.
All my life I have been scared.
Scared of doing the wrong thing, scared that what I want won't match what someone I love wants, scared of new chapters, scared of moving on, all in all, scared of CHANGE.
I try to stay positive about life and all that it brings me, because EVERYTHING that has come to me in life has been a blessing from up above and I am so grateful for everything in my life.
It's not that I don't want change to happen.
I know that change is good. There hasn't been a change in my life that has brought me regret in the long run. It is just that I am apprehensive about everything I do.
To be honest, I stress about what pair of socks to wear in the morning, whether to take the freeway or the backroads to school, what parking spot to pull into when there are three right in a row, how to write the greeting in a letter, and what toothpaste to buy at the grocery store.
I am a stress MACHINE. I am so apprehensive about the things that don't matter in life, which makes the things that DO matter a whole different story.
In this time in my life, there are SO many little decisions to make like, what classes to take, what time to take them, where to work, and where to live. I don't feel like those decisions are going to alter my life too much, but in the process of making them, I will swear to you that it's the HARDEST decision I will ever have to make in my life. Then comes the decisions that will actually determine who I am, where I go in life, and who I love. When those come up, my body goes into paralysis and I put it off for as long as I possibly can. Some choices have taken years to make, some are still in the process of being made, and heaven knows there are going to be BIGGER and HARDER decisions to make in the future. Who to marry, when to buy a house and where to get the money to buy that house.
What I have learned over this past week is that I am NEVER going to get out of making choices. They are always going to be staring me right in the eyes, and they won't go away until I make them. This morning as I was driving home, I came to the highway. At that exact moment, everything that has been weighing on my mind hit me. Every hard decision I have pending on my mind right now is only as hard as crossing a crowded highway. At first it will give me the feeling like I can't breathe, like my world is crashing down over me(or will when I try to cross the highway), but when I finally cross it and I look back at the person who was standing on the other side of the highway not too long before, I realize what I am really made of. I have a big, strong-willed heart, and with crossing the road, I just made it stronger. I know that the choice was given to me so I could see the person who is really inside of me. So I can go through life being confidant with my own heart leading me, instead of looking to someone else for help.
With each day, we are given something we need to make it through to tomorrow. We learn something about ourselves that we never knew, and we never would have known it if we hadn't had to cross the highway. Whether we see it or not, we get stronger with every day we are given. Some days may feel like you are degressing, like everything that happens takes away every last bit of strength you have, but the second you make it across you will find something in you that you love. That is the most important thing to realize in this life, in my opinion. To love yourself, to get over something and realize you are a strong person because of it, to realize that people play games and maybe the reason you feel so different is because you just don't know how to play the game, and really don't want to. The only way we can get through this life alive, is loving ourselves, loving whats inside and outside, and recognizing the good change in ourselves after we cross through the fire filled highways that life brings us.
I will make the promise to myself (and I hope you will too), right here and now, that next time I have to cross a highway that maybe seems too big for me to cross, I will go without being apprehensive or filled with fear because I know that something good is waiting on the other side for me.
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| Okay, so maybe this isn't a road, but it's the same idea.:) This is what goes through my head almost every time I have to cross the highway. |
This week has been a eye opening week for me. Like any week, I was at school ALL day, everyday. I have hardly had time to think about the things in my life that are really just bothering me, from decisions I have to make, all the way to things that I can't change.
Well, yesterday I had all day and night to think about these things, and this is what I came to:All my life I have been scared.
Scared of doing the wrong thing, scared that what I want won't match what someone I love wants, scared of new chapters, scared of moving on, all in all, scared of CHANGE.
I try to stay positive about life and all that it brings me, because EVERYTHING that has come to me in life has been a blessing from up above and I am so grateful for everything in my life.
It's not that I don't want change to happen.
I know that change is good. There hasn't been a change in my life that has brought me regret in the long run. It is just that I am apprehensive about everything I do.
To be honest, I stress about what pair of socks to wear in the morning, whether to take the freeway or the backroads to school, what parking spot to pull into when there are three right in a row, how to write the greeting in a letter, and what toothpaste to buy at the grocery store.
I am a stress MACHINE. I am so apprehensive about the things that don't matter in life, which makes the things that DO matter a whole different story.
In this time in my life, there are SO many little decisions to make like, what classes to take, what time to take them, where to work, and where to live. I don't feel like those decisions are going to alter my life too much, but in the process of making them, I will swear to you that it's the HARDEST decision I will ever have to make in my life. Then comes the decisions that will actually determine who I am, where I go in life, and who I love. When those come up, my body goes into paralysis and I put it off for as long as I possibly can. Some choices have taken years to make, some are still in the process of being made, and heaven knows there are going to be BIGGER and HARDER decisions to make in the future. Who to marry, when to buy a house and where to get the money to buy that house.
What I have learned over this past week is that I am NEVER going to get out of making choices. They are always going to be staring me right in the eyes, and they won't go away until I make them. This morning as I was driving home, I came to the highway. At that exact moment, everything that has been weighing on my mind hit me. Every hard decision I have pending on my mind right now is only as hard as crossing a crowded highway. At first it will give me the feeling like I can't breathe, like my world is crashing down over me(or will when I try to cross the highway), but when I finally cross it and I look back at the person who was standing on the other side of the highway not too long before, I realize what I am really made of. I have a big, strong-willed heart, and with crossing the road, I just made it stronger. I know that the choice was given to me so I could see the person who is really inside of me. So I can go through life being confidant with my own heart leading me, instead of looking to someone else for help.
With each day, we are given something we need to make it through to tomorrow. We learn something about ourselves that we never knew, and we never would have known it if we hadn't had to cross the highway. Whether we see it or not, we get stronger with every day we are given. Some days may feel like you are degressing, like everything that happens takes away every last bit of strength you have, but the second you make it across you will find something in you that you love. That is the most important thing to realize in this life, in my opinion. To love yourself, to get over something and realize you are a strong person because of it, to realize that people play games and maybe the reason you feel so different is because you just don't know how to play the game, and really don't want to. The only way we can get through this life alive, is loving ourselves, loving whats inside and outside, and recognizing the good change in ourselves after we cross through the fire filled highways that life brings us.
I will make the promise to myself (and I hope you will too), right here and now, that next time I have to cross a highway that maybe seems too big for me to cross, I will go without being apprehensive or filled with fear because I know that something good is waiting on the other side for me.
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